"What has changed" i once was asked

So it is over half way, WHAT HAS CHANGED?
Going through the indicators and based on the result of the Annual Partnerhip Review on my project, i am happy to report that there are some changes, direct or indirectly.

But that's not what i want to write here...

What has been changed? the answer is "ME"
This journey changes my life, up side down....i try so hard to hold on to what i believe, my moral is challenged, my compassion is being questioned, my dark side is exposed.

I feel ANGER slowly wrapping me in his wing from head to toes every time i encountered children who running all over me asking for "MONEY, SOBO, FANTA" or even to just bother with their nasty nose sound. Or when men approaching me with their drunkard eyes asking for more spirit to drink, asking to marry him, or just to ask SO MANY questions that i dont like to hear. I feel sad for not being able to react normal or to just simply ignore them. I feel disappointing on myself for letting those people having more power to determine my existence here. I become the meanest person..

Slowly i start to doubt myself. The compassion seems unreachable now...the road to happiness now bumping and i dont know where the bumpy road ends. Things that help me standing are i have goal to pursue, i have dream to catch, i have love to take care.

Question is how to react to a religious judgement?  I got a tough challenge the other day when a friend asked me "what has changes mostly since i arrived?". Loosing trust on people it is.
"Just like you lose trust in Jesus?" he judged
With a very un-genuinely smile i replied; "Do you think just because i didn't do what you are doing like hangout in the Church determine that i lose trust in Jesus?"
I know i was really mean...

The truth is God gives us freedom, like i am free to believe what i believe now. I am free to explore many other teachings that ever exist. which most of them said GOD is inside me. What is the final destination anyways? let alone heaven or hell...I dont trust them for SOOOO long time ago...

Living a life is MORE than heaven or hell....

David once said; " Life is about the process because the JOURNEY itself is the destination"
i couldn't agree more. And the stones along the road matters. The more stones or potholes that i successfully pass through the further i walk. Exhausted, tired, drained is definite but i guess it parts of the journey.

Does the change on MYSELF change my Journey? well..i dont think so... as i still trying hard to stay like i am, as i still trying hard to value what i valued before, i keep believing what i believe though it seems harder...
Mama Vanessa, Mama Imelda, Adada Kayenge, Adada Cirongo, Wini and Oliver the kids next door who always play with me show that i still have a bit of the heart that i brought along with me, they show me that i still deserve to stand here regardless the change in Me.