Story from behind the Horizon

Its been two years.. yes two years,

Time flies so fast that i didn't even hear the buzz of it wings. I didn't realize i left Karonga for such a long time until i woke up this morning only to find myself closing my eyes over and over my eyes  trying to remember Chitumbuka words. Two years left me only with a very few words. My heart beat, i hurried to a table where i stuck my books and writing notes. Carefully, i opened again words that i learn in Malawi. Words that brought me closer and closer to my community, to the last mile.  i remember i had to often switch languages between tumbuka and english while i was talking to amama and adada and they were just laughing seeing me trying so hard.

I could forget the words, but the memories would never fade. it has special box at the back of my head. Especially when the book where some ( and very few) stories were being written was launched few weeks ago. I could always go back and read and experience the same thing over and over again..

This is the best gift from my adventure in Malawi. Together with two other amazing volunteers who conquered Thailand and Ghana, we worked really hard to have it written somewhere. It was one beautiful coincidence and support from different people, we could packed the stories in one book with beautiful bao bab tree in its orange-ish cover.

ITS ABOUT TO END...

This is it. The journey of “sharing skill, changing life” is about to end. One more month and it will be a different story. Many things had happened since my last post that change my way of thinking and how I see my placement. At the end, I am happy that I will leave this program without bitterness and grudge.

This change of course will not possible without help from many amazing people who share their spirit with me. My family in Karonga is endlessly giving me supports and lessons. Shannon, the cheers leader and captain eating (how do you stay slim with all those eating??), Patrick, the perfectionist and the best organizer (thanks for making sure all those glamour trips happened Papa P..you still owe me Nyika or Tanzania :P), Tendai, the sweetest and kindness Malawian (or should I said Zimbabwean?), Raphael, our baby  and growing boy (hey..dont forced me to sing German song again ok…), and of course Gustav, (oh Gustav I will miss you badly…thanks for being so strong taking us everywhere in Malawi. Those trips would have been different without you). I am so blessed to have been sharing my life with this family which at the end teaches me to appreciate more than to complain.

The 21 days holidays around Malawi with the WATERS team also gave me extra power to finish my placement. I would never imagine that we could share that much fun together. I found myself smiling every time I remember our craziness and yet we still can have some constructive meetings in between our hangovers. Who would finish two bottles of water from heaven in some hours? Who would swim and play “Truth or Dare”  in the lake after midnight where there might me some crocodiles looking for food? (Oh..who lost the pants again? lol) Who would sleep in the non-waterproof tend and get soaked at the mountain? Who would constantly hop on and off minibuses for 21 days with all those smells of armpits, sweats, chickens, and fishes? Who would get on to the truck sharing spaces with dead animals, 20 plus other people and luggage not to mention pouring rain?  Who would stay under the rain and help the driver to get out from the muddy road for almost an hour? Who would keep our bottle of vodka under the skirt in a café because we are all running low? Who would dance two nights in a row just because we find a real club to dance regardless the unpaid allowance? During the day we behaved normal, sharing thoughts and idea, talking about life and discussing about works, but during the night we behaved abnormal.

BUT guess what, THAT’S WHY I LOVE you Doris, Florent, Brenda, Esther, and Marije…you taught me to see my life from different angles.  You taught me that I shouldn’t focus on my misery and not to always think about it. You taught me life must go on regardless what has happened and I am the only one who decides how it must go on. You taught me to keep friends for life and YOU ARE friends for life.  I am so proud of this team and so glad that I am part of it.

I am looking forward to give my last workshop to my communities sometime this month. I will be savoring my last moments with them. They are the reason of my existence here in Malawi. They are the reasons I stay. They are the reason I am able to fight the demons inside me and win the compassion.  I really hope that my time here changes their life somehow even in a smallest way. I will treasure this experience with them. I will value the love they given me. I will always keep them in my heart.

Karonga and the trees

I always tried to keep writing and updating this blog, but always fail. I even avoided some friends who were asking how my life is here in Malawi. It’s not because I am being ignorant, but simply because i still don’t know what to feel yet, regardless today is my 17^th days being here. Some people might already find its rhythm by now, but to be honest i need more time to find my passion, and I am going to give myself time.

My 10 days in Lilongwe where I supposed to have my proper in country introduction passed amazingly. As amazing as it is, I almost lost my confidence over my program office. They seemed to make “office moving” as the reason not to take care of their new volunteer, not that I can’t take care of myself. But being new and totally blind with the situation here, I needed support.  With their “support”, they successfully made me feel useless and abandoned. I am so grateful to have other volunteers next to me who supportive enough to each other, which turned out to be the best healing to the frustration and my broken hearted. In this case, I truly passed my first 10 days amazingly. I got all support that i’ve ever needed. “Thank you guys” and I know these words would never be enough.

Freddy always told me that I would feel better when I move to my placement, which is true. All the way from Lilongwe to Karonga I was blessed with a beautiful view, another healing process. I got a good feeling about my mission as soon as left Lilongwe. I couldn’t explain how good I felt when I was watching that wild green landscape from the bus that I ride accompanied with “through the veil” by Kevin Kern played on my ipod. I told Reggie that 10 days frustration in Lilongwe was gone, I even feel grateful with the fact I am now in Malawi.

I spend a week now in Karonga, and I like it so far despite of the minimum access to whatever comfort I found at home, despite that I couldn’t find shampoo in its Market (well, I can always cut my hair), despite that I will only find 4 kinds of vegetables that I can eat (wait until I have my garden), despite that people called me “mzungu (white people) me..white?? puhlease…” or “china..china” or “japan…japan”, I don’t care. I will not let those scarce or people who label me make me lose my appreciation on the life I live in now.

My partner, The District Planning Office is pretty functioning, plus they already assigned one officer who will always help me with the project and go to the field with me. Speaking of which, I spent my first week with the community already which for me is awesome. First week at work and you already exposed to the grass root community?. Amazing. They were so happy when I started to greet them in my basic Chitumbuka. One thing that I learn from my first week in the field, there is no village hall, there is no “Meunasah” like in Aceh, there is no “banjar’ like in Bali, people meet under the big tree. There might be few wooden stools for the leaders but the rest of the meeting participants sit on the ground. I sit together with the amama’s (women) who came with their babies as I like to look at them during the meeting. Often, the babies fallen asleep during the meeting and the mother simply laid him in the dirty ground. There was also a small boy who cried out loud when I smiled at him, which made me feel bad.

This year, I will attend a lot of meetings under the tree. So far, there were akasia trees and Baobab trees. I will try to keep record on the trees, as it will become one witness of me in Malawi. Hope to have a story written about it at the end of this journey.